Monday, December 27, 2010

Of Focused Study

          I have had little experience with men. Okay, that’s an understatement. I have had close to zero experience with men. That’s slightly more accurate. The few ‘encounters’ I have had the misfortune of  experiencing left me more confused than when I first started.  As a result of said confusion I have resolved to amass as much (scientific) information about men and human relationships in general as to aid me in future dealings with the inferior and under-evolved sex. (I’m kidding, boys, don’t get your boxers in a bunch.) Maybe with enough theoretical knowledge, I’ll be able to assess my feelings more accurately in the future and as a result make better decisions, as opposed to just ‘winging it’ and ending up completely lost - a disheveled caricature of a girl with a thought bubble containing the characters: “W-T-F-question-mark-exclamation-point” above her head. Because, my ignorance notwithstanding, I do know that emotions muddle the mind. My mind, in particular, is susceptible to affection-induced muddling. When caught in the clutches of a romantic interest, I become inutile. My emotions hijack my brain. I can think of nothing else, speak of nothing else, I become the most insufferable bore. I sit for hours staring into space with only the red-orange glowing end of a lighted cancer stick piercing the darkness created by my thoughts, real and imagined. I forget to eat. I bump into things. I fall down stairs.I forget my keys and lock myself out of the house. Cigarette sales spike in my area of the city. I spare my friends the agony of having to listen to my agony, and instead take my aggressions (it seems all my affection is accompanied by some aggression) out on my moleskine journal, the poor thing.

            Anyway, the point of this post is that I’m focusing my studies and blog on the male psyche, human relationships, and love in this day and age in the hopes that it may help other single and confused girls out there. Happy New Year, guys and gals!

Painting from this blog.


  1. I don't understand what's a pretty thing like you doing with a blog post like this? Seriously. But it's a good thing you smoke; they all say that smokers are some of the most interesting people out there. Anyway, thanks for the new word -- inutile. I will certainly have much employment for this darling adjective.

    Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  2. AND ONE MORE THING, where's your Step One: Identify Your Problem post? I have this system for placing comments (for very specific comment forms like what you're using), and I was supposed to give the following comment:

    Whoa, Sitting Pretty, this post was so long, it gave me an erection. It was so long, it will provide enough material for my next wet dream. It was so long, it will rupture my anal walls. It was so long, it can be Peter North if he were a blog post. It was so long, it will... aw, you get it.

    You could have divided this post into several posts. That will make it a little tolerable; it is talking about love in the first place, it can use a little pick me up in the same way that a prayer meeting can use a lap dance.

    Cheers you! Muahness from Pasig Citehh!

  3. To Momel the Bovine Scatologist:

    Thanks for dropping by again!

    Yes, I actually have the Mistress of the Universe to thank for adding that word to my vocabulary (years ago, from reading one of the Twisted books) - it has proved to be the very opposite of it's definition as there are an infinite number of objects, ideas, and people that warrant being described as inutile.

    Eh, who am I to judge. *shrug* At the very least people I deem useless lend themselves to propagation of the species...but then Earth is overpopulated as it is and we don't seem to be dying out anytime soon, so maybe...the only purpose some people serve is to be an example of what NOT to be...?

    Peter NORTH! Ahhh, the innocence of my youth was forever lost the day I discovered who that is. Yeah, I'm saving all that Lurrve shit for another day. Thanks for the tip, BTW.

    Next post, my lone reader, is to be about dating. I would really like to know your opinions about 'dating' in this day and age. =)

    And about the smoking thing - I don't think it's the smoking per se that makes a person interesting... i think it's that people who choose to engage in a slow form of suicide are fucked up in some way, and it's the fucked-upness that's interesting...