Sunday, November 28, 2010

Of Full Disclosure

Eric Fischl, 2001

        I think that if all singles adopted the regular practice of full disclosure it would spare both parties the aggravation of trying to decipher the other's motives. If intentions are clear from the very beginning, neither party is liable for (what would otherwise be) inevitable disillusionment. For example, upon seeing an attractive girl, a guy could walk up and say, 

        "Hi, I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but I think you're pretty hot and I would really like to (expletive) you, and if it's good, (expletive) you repeatedly. So if you're interested in the same, here's my number. If you're not interested and are completely offended, please don't slap me (my friends over there are watching) I just thought it was worth a shot."

        Or, as the case may be:

        "Hi, I'm looking to find true love and the future mother of my children, and I believe that between our equally ridiculous good looks, notable athletic ability, and your superior intelligence, our offspring would have a considerable genetic advantage over everyone else's little second-rate rugrats. Whaddya say we find out if you're the one to help me breed superior beings?" 

        Sure, it would take a little getting used to as people aren't generally accustomed to brutal honesty. But I think it would work out for the best in the long run. No confusion. No 'Does he want something serious or does he just want to f*** me?' No trichotillomania-inducing exasperation.  Less moping about in pajamas, eating Spam out of the can, lip-syncing to Sheena Easton on 96.3 W Rock, thinking 'Why hasn't he called? Huhuhu.'  (Just so we're clear, that is so not me...huhuhu.)

        See ya next time Full Disclosurists! (Yes, I made that word up.)  




Friday, November 26, 2010

Of the Inequity of Inequality of Feeling

Reclining Nude - Edward Hopper 1924-1927
         I woke up this morning and promptly started tearing up. I am missing someone for only the second time in my life and it is causing me to twitch and smart like those poor frogs that we used to torture in Physiology lab. I doubt that he is missing me. Inequality of feeling seems to be a recurring theme in my history. For example - Boy likes girl. Girl thinks boy is hideous. Boy recognizes futility of pursuing and stops liking girl. Girl misses boy, rethinks the word hideous, decides a more accurate description would be... acquired taste. At present it's - Boy liked girl first, (just so we're clear.) Girl initially did not think much of but now really likes boy. Boy would only like to boink girl. And although boy does seem like he'd be a tasty treat, girl does not appreciate being objectified and would like to mean  more to boy. You get the picture. Yes, it is unfair, but few things in life often are. 

       Til next time, Unrequited Lovers! Try to get through the day without sticking a sharp object through your chest. This, too, shall pass. Meanwhile, I'll be sitting here, drumming my fingertips against my keyboard, awaiting the arrival of a reciprocal love - the equality of feeling.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Of Emotional Exhibitionism

       You’ve heard of exhibitionists - men in overcoats lurking in dark alleys waiting to expose themselves to unsuspecting strangers. Okay, maybe they don’t exist here in Cebu, as not too many trench coats are worn in tropical climates, but we do have the garden variety 'buang' – the guy with greasy dreads with his tidbits showing through a giant rip in his grime-caked shorts ( or old rice sack, as the case may be) - less premeditative, just as titillating. Or maybe it is premeditated. Maybe he hides behind the pretext of mental illness to conceal his very conscious enjoyment in making kolehiyalas shriek? Maybe that’s why he hangs out near STC. 

       I’m something of an exhibitionist, as well, but instead of my fore/nether regions, it’s my soul that I enjoy airing out, to strangers no less. Most people I know aren’t aware of this; I don’t reveal myself to them, as I assume most sexual exhibitionists don’t go to their friends’ houses to expose themselves. Its people I don’t know I like talking to – a Canadian lady at the airport, the security guard in my old building, the barista at the coffee place, taxi drivers. It’s easier to talk to strangers sometimes - someone who’s not too close can offer a fresh perspective, a clear view. Like those paintings where you can only make out what it is if you look at it from a distance. Sometimes the people in your life are just standing too close. 

       Now I’ve started this blog to expose myself emotionally to a wider audience of strangers – to you. If you like what you read and are a Cebu blogger yourself, please put up a link, and I’ll do the same for you. And if you have an opinion on anything I’ve written, feel free to post a comment, but please be nice, I’m fragile. Happy reading, emotional voyeurs! 

Magritte-inspired Exhibitionist from here.