Of Double Takes and Surreptitious Glances

Chopsuey - Edward Hopper, 1929

            I was recently on Istorya.net where I go to lurk and to air out (what would otherwise be) unsolicited opinions and I came across a thread started by some guy that went something like this:

            “I caught a beautiful girl glancing at me, what does it mean?”

          “It could mean a number of things,” I replied.

            Here are your possibilities:

 a.      She thinks you’re cute and she wants you to talk to her. Strap on a pair and make like Nike, Just Do It!

b.      You look familiar to her, like she knows you from somewhere. Another excuse to walk up and talk to her; “Hi, dili ba friends man mo ni * insert random name here* ?” 

c.       You’ve got something on your face. It could be food, dirt, a booger *ew* Now, you could still use this to your advantage. Laugh it off and it becomes a conversation starter, plus she’ll think it’s cool that you’re not too uptight to laugh at yourself. (Ok, it might not work if it were a booger, cause that’s just too gross.)

d.      She thinks you’re absolutely hideous and regularly stops to stare at freaks of nature. (Can’t help you there, kid. I guess you could still talk to her and try to impress her with your personality…Yeah, good luck with that.)

            I think all single guys should just let go of any shyness when they’re out in public. You never know if that girl you so fortuitously bumped into at Starbucks or Rustans or wherever could be perfect for you. She could also be terrible for you, but the point is, you’re never going to know until you find your balls and act like a man.

           I was sitting at Bo’s Coffee one day in the not too distant past and was thoroughly impressed by a guy who had the cojones to take his game past stares and glances. I was by myself, sitting at a table near the back and I was just settling down to read a chapter out of the 4-inch thick Textbook of Information I Have Yet to Learn Despite the Fact I’ve Graduated Already. I had caught him doing a double take through the glass, and again when he came inside, but I shrugged it off, not thinking too much of it.  Later, he was sitting at an adjacent table talking to a couple of colleagues (from what I could make of their conversation, they were all lawyers or law students) continually casting surreptitious glances my way. And in the middle of their conversation, he excuses himself, stands up, walks over to my table and asks if he can sit down. I was a bit taken aback, but quickly recovered. We proceeded to have a pleasant, lively discussion about law (which has always interested me as my mother was a lawyer) and current events. I learned that he wanted to go into litigation and I told him about my future profession. At the end of our conversation, he had to leave, but not before he asked for my number, which, to my own surprise, I gave him.

            Now, this cat wasn’t really much to look at, he wasn’t bad looking, just not my type. (He looked a little too neat for my taste which leans toward the um…rugged.) To top it all off, I was 5’9” that day and he looked barely 5’5”, but the reason I decided to give him my number was this: sheer confidence. His confidence which never strayed into the area of cockiness (cuz there’s a fine line between confident and downright hambugero.)

            The thing is, when a guy shows that he’s confident and self-assured, it makes me curious,

            “Well what is he so confident about?”

            It makes me want to find out more about him.

            So get over your fears, shy guys. The next time you see a girl you like, and regardless of whether or not she's looking at  you, go up to her. Girls like confidence. Girls like assertiveness. If something comes out of it, if she turns out to be the future mother of your children, great! If not, it's her loss.

          Plus, life is too short to waste any opportunity for happiness. 

         Come back soon, Surreptitious Glancers!